Sunday, January 20, 2013

No Answers

World still fucked, as if I need to tell you.

Still no sun.

Curiously without people, society, jobs and basically anything that I need to be on schedule for I find myself sleeping for an hour or so at a time intermittently throughout the day. I feel more alert this way but I also feel a deep paranoia and those rare instances when you're not sure if you're awake or asleep that only happen intensely once or twice a lifetime, probably - are happening more frequently.
I can't count the number of times I've thought a shadow in the distance - probably just the branch of some tree blowing in just the right way - was a person running by. Or the number of times I've heard what sound like whispers in the running water of the streams outside. Or the number of times I've heard the coyotes saying my name...
I know none of these things are happening but these are the things my mind can't escape lately.

I now have to frequently scare off an ever-more tolerant small herd of deer whenever I need to go to the grocery store. They're getting pretty used to my being there by now, a lot faster than it's taking me to get used to them being there.

Amazing how quickly nature seems to take it's place back.

I've been trying to construct a plan but it's hard because there's no goal, as such. I don't know what it is I need, or that I need to know. However - when the snow goes away in the Spring, since no-one's around to plow it, I'll head to New York City. It's only a few hours drive from here and I figure if there are any more people around they'd be more likely to head to a population center like New York.

Well, maybe anyway, we'll see.


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