Bob's Burgers: The Movie

Cast: Dan Mintz, H. Jon Benjamin, Kristen Schaal

Synopsis: The Belcher family tries to save the restaurant from a sinkhole, meanwhile the kids solve a mystery, meanwhile yes there's music, meanwhile MURDER.

Review: This very evening I must slaughter a rooster in my care because we named him "Trump". Also, he keeps attacking people but mostly his shitty name. Either way excuse me if instead of writing a review I give "killing a rooster with a stick" a quick google, a'ight?

In Short: There's a product named the "Hopper Popper" that humanely kills rabbits which works on chickens too but there's nothing humane about giving a murder device a cutesie name.

Trivia: It's Bob's Burgers, ya dolt. If you like Bob's Burgers then watch the film, if not, don't. What do you need a review for?

Biggest Positive: Thank the Lord that yes, it's a musical.

Biggest Negative: The impending collapse of all existence for little Trump.

Rating: 4/5

The Amazing Screw-on Head

This film is only 22 minutes long!

Proportionally, this review should only be three lines long.

So, umm… this film was really funny yet somehow confused me on a deep level that I don’t think I quite comprehend, here’s a trailer goodbye!

Barnyard

Ok, so yes this was a kids movie and wasn't really amongst the kind of computer animated films that are half-aimed at kids while still trying to appeal to the poor bored parents watching them (though it sure as hell seemed to want to be one of those.judging purely by choice of voice-actors), so maybe it's a bit unfair of me to review it like any other film but it frankly had some of the cheapest looking computer animation I've seen in a long time.

Possibly ever.

And for that I condemn it to the ever growing number of films I've condemned.

The Simpsons Movie

I'll be honest here, I was expecting this movie to be a phenomenal disappointment. I felt that The Simpsons truly is a format which is unsuitable for a feature-length movie, it would be like trying to expand an episode of Roseanne to 90 minutes... I shudder at the thought of that.

I expected that the only way they could possibly hope to achieve this almighty goal would be to cram in as many characters as possible, giving nothing but a 90 minute montage of Simpsons lines with no substance and some ridiculous over-the-top plot, which some of the latter series episodes of The Simpsons are guilty of having, rather than the down to Earth (with merely an over-the-top twist) plot-lines that kept the Simpsons in everybody's hearts (or at least minds) for so long.

And this movie did just that!

No, I'm kidding but I feel like a lot of my reviews are making these attempts at comical twists half-way through.

I give my reviews 1 out of 5!

However, The Simpsons Movie is as good as it can be, better maybe, considering the fact that I expected it to be somewhat dragging. The plot is far more like earlier Simpsons seasons, which I feel may have been a deliberate ploy by the writers, who probably knew that many people would go to see this film (or sit on their asses and wait for the DVD to see this film) who had not been watching the latest Simpsons seasons, whether it be through lack of interest or just less time to sit and make time for them or whether out of sheer protest of Fox. My only issue with the plot is that Mr Burns could have been a more integral part and it would have made the film a billion times better! For me anyway, maybe making it far more central around the actual Simpsons was a good idea considering it's about them, and not Burnsie...

Still, Mr Burns is the best character in the Simpsons, no?

I couldn't help but compare this movie in my head to the South Park movie...
Although I personally prefer the South Park movie overall, I feel like it really felt like a peak of the series, and after it I have failed to really get into South Park, besides a few fleeting episodes of interest here and there, whereas the Simpsons Movie didn't feel like a peak as I first expected, and had me (God forgive me) wishing I still got Fox, in order to begin watching the series again...

Praise the lord for not having cable anymore!