Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Anew

I used to believe that as I got involved or into something new and interesting or potentially beneficial to me I got scared of commitment and bailed but recently I realized (And I mean recently before everyone vanished, last year sometime) that what was actually going on was that as I got know people I eventually became comfortable with them and revealed how truly irritating and/or boring I am. In that way I've come to realize that maybe this people-less world is actually going to work out better for me...

Droll note, I know - but anyway, it's made me think that maybe I should stop focusing on how bad it is that everyone's gone and remember just how little I got on with 99% of people.

Well, this seems like a downer but it's actually picking me up.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Tomorrow May Come

You'll forgive me for not updating but the fact that there is no "you" or anyone pretty much makes it okay not to update my blog.

I have no shame in saying that now, not even 2 months after December 21st, I'm kind of losing my shit.
I've been marking days off the calendar to keep track - not for any silly sentimental reason, you understand. I'm well aware that the day of the week, day or month or even year doesn't exactly mean shit when there's no-one else on the god-forsaken planet but me - but to keep my eye on how long till Spring arrives and I can finally travel outside the confines of this city. That is, if I even bother? I mean - I'm not going to find much else out there either otherwise I'd have heard something... if society was still happening outside the confines of the area that I've managed to explore since humanity apparently vanished, as well as the sun (I don't think I mentioned it here but interestingly, the stars are still in the night sky - explain that one to me. Frankly explain any of this to me, I guess??), then surely I'd have seen or heard a plane, caught an emergency broadcast of some kind. I mean, the Internet's still up. I still have power. If someone was supplying these things they'd know I was out here consuming it, I think.

Well whatever, I've pretty much accepted that I'm the last person around and I can either just kill myself and get it over with or just try and make a living in whatever way that might mean.

For now I'm going with the latter but let me tell you it's not an easy decision.

Monday, January 28, 2013

FYI

In case you were wondering, no, there's still no-one else.

Just me. It's been a little over a month but it feels like a year. Years. Insurmountable time seems to have lagged by. I'm having to fend off or scare away more and more woodland creatures and stray dogs to get to the grocery store. Fortunately I've stocked my house and the neighbors houses full enough of food and supplies that I can probably skip the store, and frequently do when I get down there and find it's the coyote's "turn". They're pretty easily scared off but I'm pretty sure one of these days they'll get rubbed the wrong way by my presence and go for me... course, I have a gun (Well, it's Zac's but I'm sure he wouldn't mind me borrowing it) but I'd rather not have to use it. After all, it does feel like I'm the intruder on their land all of a sudden. Guess it was always that way, but with only me around to stake humanity's claim to anything you can be pretty sure that these animals can have the cities...

Their still not coming anywhere near my house though since I'm still an annoying loud brash human being, so I guess I'm still the dominant species of my street at least....

Anyway - more snow - blah blah blah. Waiting for Spring to decide what to do or where to go, if anywhere.

And given up entirely on trying to figure out what actually happened/is happening or why. Just so we're all clear.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

No Answers

World still fucked, as if I need to tell you.

Still no sun.

Curiously without people, society, jobs and basically anything that I need to be on schedule for I find myself sleeping for an hour or so at a time intermittently throughout the day. I feel more alert this way but I also feel a deep paranoia and those rare instances when you're not sure if you're awake or asleep that only happen intensely once or twice a lifetime, probably - are happening more frequently.
I can't count the number of times I've thought a shadow in the distance - probably just the branch of some tree blowing in just the right way - was a person running by. Or the number of times I've heard what sound like whispers in the running water of the streams outside. Or the number of times I've heard the coyotes saying my name...
I know none of these things are happening but these are the things my mind can't escape lately.

I now have to frequently scare off an ever-more tolerant small herd of deer whenever I need to go to the grocery store. They're getting pretty used to my being there by now, a lot faster than it's taking me to get used to them being there.

Amazing how quickly nature seems to take it's place back.

I've been trying to construct a plan but it's hard because there's no goal, as such. I don't know what it is I need, or that I need to know. However - when the snow goes away in the Spring, since no-one's around to plow it, I'll head to New York City. It's only a few hours drive from here and I figure if there are any more people around they'd be more likely to head to a population center like New York.

Well, maybe anyway, we'll see.


Saturday, January 12, 2013

Dear Diary

Spent this evening drinking too much liquor, turning on car engines to see how far away I can be and still hear them out of boredom (It's a surprising distance in this fucking silence!), drank way too much liquor, went round to Zac and Joanne's place to watch DVD's there for a bit, drank too much liquor, totalled a strangers car on the drive home and took a sobering walk in the cold the rest of the way home and then proceeded to drink too much liquor to round out the evening.
Fuck this fucking shit piss version of Earth.