Judas and the Black Messiah

Cast: Daniel Kaluuya, LaKeith Stanfield, Jesse Plemons

Synopsis: Darius from Atlanta fucked up.

Review: Why did I stop writing nonsensical movie reviews on here for every movie I watch even if they don't relate to the movie and make no sense?

I dunno, good question.

Judas and the Black Messiah gets 5 out of 5.

Biggest Positive: I learned another heart breaking piece of U.S. history which I was only vaguely aware of.

Biggest Negative: I learned another heart breaking piece of U.S. history which I was only vaguely aware of.

Trivia: To prepare for the role, LaKeith actually travelled through time to infiltrate the real Black Panthers of the time.

Rating: 5/5

Movie Thoughts: David Lynch and Werner Herzog together

I made a video and in the video I discuss with myself the implications for mankind if David Lynch and Werner Herzog were to create a film together... well, maybe not the implications for mankind but I sure do discuss those two...
I also briefly make some sort of a review(ish) for "Lynch", a documentary about David Lynch. I'm not going to give it a rating out of 5 though because I'm still not 100% sure whether it was trying to be funny or not...

Grizzly Man

Grizzly Man is in part a documentary about Grizzly Bears in Alaska but is far more accurately a documentary about Timothy Treadwell who, in spite of his cartoon-character like name, was a slightly eccentric "eco-warrior", who braved it out in the wilderness "protecting" grizzly bears until he was ultimately mauled to death and eaten by one...

The film was by renowned director-with-a-foreign-accent Werner Herzog, who compiled the documentary/film using a lot of footage of Timothy Treadwell, most of which was shot by Timothy Treadwell. It's spliced together not in the way I imagine Timothy Treadwell wanted it but instead focuses a lot of the attention on Timothy himself, which I'm sure wasn't Timothy's (primary) goal and only shows the hunking great furry muscle bound killing machines in relation to him, reacting to him or being pointed to by him...

He also makes friends with a bunch of foxes.

Not much point to that sentence but it's true and they are pretty fucking cute.

*SPOILER AHEAD* (if you can call information on a non-fiction film a spoiler?)

I was at first very anxious and sad by the fact that Timothy was killed and eaten by one of the very creatures he was studying and befriending but Werner makes very sure to point out, in spite of what everyone else is saying about Timothy being a fool who shouldn't have been getting close to such fearsome beasts, that the bear that killed him was not one of the ones that he got close to and that it was later in the year, closer to when they get ready to hibernate that he was killed.

So yes, Timothy Treadwell made a mistake returning to the place where he studied bears long after he's usually there but Werner also points out that it was because some fat-assed fucker started an argument with him at the airport about his ticket or something! The nerve! Fuck humanity, I'm going to go get eaten by a bear!

Fuck it all!

Fuck this world!

Fuck everything that you stand for!

No... that's slipknot... but anyway, the sentiment of it rings true in this film! Or at least from Timothy Treadwell himself... especially in one very vulgar scene that Werner had to dub himself speaking over so as not to offend too much...

Anyhoo

This film is a must for all fans of Werner Herzog who also like Grizzly Bears.

Jackass: The Movie

Why did I watch this?
Did anyone ask "why" before the first people sat down to preview Eraserhead?
Did anyone ask "why" before they saw the unveiling of the Mona Lisa?
Did they ask it when first they stepped into the Sistine Chapel to witness Michaelangelo's magnificence? Did they ponder on the purpose behind The Resurrection Of Christ and interrogate Raphael about it's meanings, until he could take it no more?
Did they ask Donatello why, of all the turtles, he spent so much time creating dumbass machines instead of eating pizza and being awesome like the rest of them? I mean, C'mon, even Leonardo could chill out once in a while, guy!
Did they ask Isaac Newton why he was going off to sit under a tree "till something inspirational happens"?!
Did they ask Einstein why he was remembered more for being a little bit crazy than being a little bit of a genius? I guess not since he'd be dead by then...
Did they ask why before Martin Luther King stepped before a vast audience gathered to hear him and delivered his "I have a dream" speech?

They probably did, I guess...

Cannibal: The Musical

I just finished watching...

CANNIBAL: THE MUSICAL

... and it was just as awesome as I remember it being!




Cannibal: The Musical's Website

300

It's about time I reviewed this

I wasn't expecting much from this film, it's not really the kind of film I tend to hold in too high a regard but I was expecting at least was epic battles and gimpy epic lines, which this film delivered to some degree. However, in all honesty, I felt it was too short... seriously, when I think 300, I was expecting something so epically engaging that it would be a three hour long battle sequence with about 15 minutes of plot! When I saw the cover, and saw it wasn't even 2 hours long I was seriously dissapointed! (It was like the reverse feeling from when I looked at King Kong's runtime)

Anyway, so no big deal, they surely just cut out the plot and opted for (almost) 2 hours of straight battle?

I wish!

Unfortunately it seems the film had some unnecessary plot, love story, struggle and some sort of glorious message to tell. It seemed to imply that if it weren't for this raving band of closet homosexuals the world would be without all that I hold dear today, too. Interesting perspective on life Mr Snyder, but couldn't we have gotten Michael Bay to direct this film? No substance, all action, slow motion sequences and just make sure he knows he's not aiming for PG-13 this time so he remembers not to leave out the blood!

Actually scratch that... the fight with all the explosions in 300 was the least enjoyable, and Michael Bay would only amplify that... and set the whole thing in space...
Ok ok, so Michael Bay would have made this film worse but the point is that what I wanted from this film was non-stop blood, gore, screaming, fighting and such as... Africa and the Iraq and such as...

What I got was some of that with a bunch of jibba-jabba in the middle that I couldn't hear because my brain was set to All-Gore-Mode (not Al-Gore-Mode) and I couldn't respond to English.

And don't even get me started on the historcal innacuracies!!!

Mainly because I have no idea what they are...



The 300 At Yahoo! Movies

Color Me Kubrick

John Malkovich proves once again that he's the only one properly capable of playing a man who pretended to be a director who pretended to the world that he directed films that made any sense.

The basic plot is based loosely on true events where one Alan Conway pretended to be the fiercely reclusive film director Stanley Kubrick to his own ends and ruins a bunch of hopeless wannabes on the way.

It's a nice little take on the idea that many people have that they know as much, or more, than most famous people do about their own professions, and also the idea that most people will do almost anything a famous person says, if the promise of being famous or rich themselves is given.
Alan Conway (In the film anyway) seems to take that conversation we've all had in a pub on a dark and lonely drunken Saturday evening about how "'Ken that bastard Kubrick (or any famous director musician actor writer whatever) ?That cunt disnae 'ken shite aboot nuthin' man! Ah could make a fuckin' film better than that fuck... aye!" and bams it up a notch, into living a whole life of being the man himself...

It's also littered with a host of Kubrick film references.

At least, I assume it's littered with them... I've only been able to force myself to drudge through a handful of Kubrick films so I only noticed the tune from 2001: A Space Oddysey (Which I recognised from a Simpson's episode) and a line or two from Clockwork Orange (Which I was obliged to watch before getting into punk music). The whole film is probably actually a series of Kubrick films cut-and-pasted together into one coherent film...

As I type this I'm watching the special feature on the DVD "Being Alan Conway" which is a little witty take on the extremely brilliant movie Being John Malkovich. Did you ever see that film? I saw it in the cinema back in 1999. I didn't really know what to expect of it but I often find that's the best way to see films, to not know a thing about it or anyone involved.
Being John Malkovich was a cinematic delight! The basic plot is a gentleman by the name of Schwartz gets a job in a bizarre little (literally) office and as often happens in these situations, finds a portal into the mind of John Malkovich. On the way he tries to find love, riches and power and succeeds! It's a classic tale of rags to riches to rags again and I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone! Definitely, in my opinion, one of my favourite movies of all time!

Being John Malkovich gets:


Color Me Kubrick:

Offical Color Me Kubrick Website

The Aviator

Today's review is of...

THE AVIATOR

The Aviator was about 2 hours too long but contained at least 30 minutes of really excellent scenes that make you think it's worth sitting through all the nonsense in between them.

Footnote: Replace "The Aviator" with any other film by Martin Scorsese and you have a relatively accurate review of every movie he ever made

The Aviator's Official Site