Monday, July 9, 2007

Dark Water

Most creepy 'what's going on?!?' type horror films (The Ring, The Others, The Grudge, The Waterboy) follow a basic pattern whereby the character development in the film is limited only to information that's relevant, such as finding out a character has a deep abandonment issue from their childhood which comes into play later in the movie when they're left alone in an empty cardboard box, leaving the bulk of the film to be used to develop a plot and to have all sorts of creepy things happen, such as photographs melting, Japanese girls gibbering to themselves about a curse, televisions mysteriously switching off and on when no-one is accidentally sitting on the remote or little boys who 'meow' when they open their mouths (It's amazing how tame that seems when it's typed...).
Dark Water is like the exact opposite of this idea... it was marketed, as far as I remember, as being part of this wave of creepy ghost story horror films that was at it's peak a few years ago and yet for the first hour of this film you'd think it had been written by Charlie Kaufman (before being swiftly censored and edited by some asshole from Fox, resulting in a long drawn out romantic drama with a few slightly odd characters who managed to slip through the net when the evil whore-hounds at Fox tried to turn Mr Kaufman's work into an all-encompassing feel good romance movie... this movie has nothing to do with Charlie Kaufman or Fox...) and it's not till far too late into the film that we are given even the slightest of slight creepy feelings.
Alas it is too late...
Had the entire film contained the spooky elements that were present in the last half hour this film would have been a moderate to poor horror film.
Instead it was a poor to poor horror film.
And the use of the term 'horror' is questionable.
On the positive side, the characters in the film are quirky, realistically odd and well played. Down to characters who only play a really small part in the film (Such as the lawyer, the school teacher and the landlord).
Unfortunately this is not a film in which I should be pondering over the complexities of such small parts, I should be wondering why there is a constant creepy drip coming from the floor above.
Why there are endless demonic carol type singing of children's nursery rhymes eminating throughout the elevator shaft.
Why the stains on the ceiling resemble a creepy little girl.
WHY DOES THE CARETAKER REFUSE TO SPEAK TO THE LITTLE GIRL AND WHY DOES HE ALWAYS SHAKE WHEN SHE'S AROUND AS IF TO IMPLY THAT SOMETHING VAGUELY CREEPY IS GOING ON BUT WE
JUST
DON'T
KNOW
WHAT?!
I should be concerned as to why the child has dissapeared and no-one seems to recall where she is, who she is, if she even had a daughter when she entered the building.

Why, if she had no daughter, is there a love-heart squeaked onto the glass of the window which Jodie Foster only finds when she breathes on the glass?

Why is it that only Jodie Foster can remember her child in one film and Julianne Moore in another? Thus furthering her career in which she will eventually become Jodie Foster??

None of this happens in Dark Water
None of it.
Something creepy should have happened
But it didn't
Something should have made me jump
But it didn't
Godamnit, you'd think this film had some sort of impact on my life the way I'm going on about it


But it didn't



Dark Water's Official Site

No comments: