Sunday, November 23, 2008

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things is an incredibly dull and poor acted attempt at a thrill ride which all too late turns into a sub-par but watchable zombie film about ten minutes before the end, but that's not important right now.
What is important is that at a key moment (When a rather amusing looking 'Three Stooges' type fellow in a love-heart patterned shirt is being sequestered by a couple of rather camp gay grave diggers - who, by the way, were about the only likable characters) someone in the film exclaims "I peed my pants!", several times.

I know this doesn't seem amazing by any stretch to anyone but to me it was as if the good Lord in Heaven was trying to communicate with me, you see over the course of the weekend we also watched:

  • Willard - in which Crispin Glover's boss is said to have pissed his pants when the rats get at his brand new car
  • The Grudge 2 - in which some girl pees herself after a shower upon witnessing the scary staring girl
  • Pieces - in which someone pees themselves. Pieces was ultimately forgettable except for a few key retarded lines so I don't really recall any of the events that led to someone pissing all over themselves but rest assured, it happened. I've just saved you the trouble of watching 'Pieces' by the way. It's not worth it!
Weird huh?

I mean how many films is there that people piss themselves in?

I can only think of one more and I'm not watching American Pie anytime soon, but what are the chances of so many films with urine soaked trousers being a prevalent theme being viewed all in such quick succession?

I can only imagine the mighty powers that be, the Necromancers of bed-wetting and lousy B-grade movies crossed paths over the weekend and tried to convey to me a message of warning, but what could it be?

And what's that comfortable yet awkward warm feeling between my legs all about?


1 comment:

Henry Wolfsburg said...

Dances With Wolves. "I've just pissed my pants and there's nothing anyone can do about it."