Monday, December 22, 2008

Prom Night (1980)

What is it that all major horror films are lacking?
One thing that you just know deep inside each and every one of them should have had.
A single film element that would have spanned all the horror franchises into longer lasting, epic, billion dollar movies.
Dance offs!

After seeing Prom Night I can safely say that no slasher flick should be complete without an old fashioned test of power via the medium of dance.
And Jamie Lee Curtis was involved? That only makes me realize that John Carpenter doesn't have the eye for talent that we may have inadvertently attributed him with. Why was there no dance competition with Michael Myers at the end of Halloween?
Epic fail, Mr. Carpenter.

And what's Activia's deal?
With a few simple convincing boogie steps, Jamie Lee could have us all replenishing ourselves with vomit-like substances from dawn till dusk.

Me: What's that Jamie Lee? You want me to take the Activia challenge? No thanks, I don't really like yogurt things and besides I don't really know that feeling 'irregular' actually means anything and it's probably just a ploy to get me to think I need your product.

Jamie Lee: *breaks out into disco fever*

Me: *buys ten years worth of Activia*

The only thing that could have possibly made the dance-offs better is if somehow a ninja were involved, but unfortunately we all know that could never happ... HOLY SHIT The bad guy's a ninja???

I speak the truth. A motherfucking, full fledged ninja (kind of)!! Well, he looks like one and he jumps around like one and yes, the final battle with the ninja-like evil doer is on the dance floor as the disco ball revolves.

So why haven't you seen this film?

You have? Great.

Additionally, Slick is the coolest character I have seen in any film ever.

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