Friday, May 16, 2008

Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem

Call me olf-fashioned, stuck in the mud or just plain boring but I'm of the school of thought that still believes that when making a film, no matter how lame people are already going to presume it is, it's a good idea to let people see what's happening.

I mean, surely that's the point in "motion pictures", isn't it? Otherwise it's just a radio show with a funny flashing screen...

I must be wrong though because this movie's screen was pitch black for a good third of it. Granted, you could see an occasional shining of light or a vaguest of vague shadow of something possibly moving in the dark, maybe, but not really enough to make it even in the slightest bit possible for you to tell what's actually going on.

And since the Alien nor the Predator can actually speak, all that accompanies this perpetual darkness for much of the film is some gurgling grunts and screeches while the Alien/Predator (Because at most points in the film you can't even tell which of the two fuckers is actually doing anything) go about doing whatever it is they're doing in the dark.

Ironic (or just retarded) that the scenes which are most illuminated are those featuring humans who, in case you hadn't noticed, didn't appear in the title of the movie. Humans who, in case you hadn't guessed, you can't give two shits about and feel they should just be there for cannon fodder. So why light up these boring fucks and have the scenes involving the only interesting looking things in the film be shrouded in complete darkness?

Well, I don't fucking know but that's why this film gets just one smiley face.

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