Monday, May 26, 2008

Loch Ness Terror

Two key points about this film:

1) This film did not take place at Loch Ness

2) This film was not terrifying

This film perhaps should have been called "Lake Superior Upset". Or "Loch Ness Is In The First 5 Minutes Of This Film And Mentioned Several Times Throughout The Rest By A Bunch Of Crazies Around Lake Superior". Or "Nessie Gets Really Lost". Or "Nessie Plays With Magnets Then Explodes".

All would have been better and more accurate titles.

"Microwaving Nessies Bottom (Or Right Thigh)"

"The Man That Wasn't Steve Irwin Finds The Loch Ness Monster Isn't Living In Loch Ness At All!"

"Dinosaur Egg Surprise"

"The Mediocre Film"...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I watched this the other day, and I could not agree more with your review. I was particularly impressed by the fact that it could also be called The Movie That Got Everything Wrong. I mean from casting to dialogue to, as you mentioned, basic geography. At some point that becomes impressive, I think.

Rosco the Digital Guy said...

Not sure how in the world you mistook the incredible British Columbia backdrop for Lake Superior, but this was a pretty fun movie if you like this sort of thing.

The camerawork was solid. The sound and editing was well above average. And even the acting was fine for this type of budget.

I must admit the lame CG was er... somewhat distracting, but I was more than happy to to keep watching after my cable box switched over to it half way through "I'm A Celebrity -- Get Me Out of Here."

Actually, it reminded me a lot of a pretty good TV series called "Surface." (From back in the summer of Surface / Threshold / Invasion)

For a TV movie, I'd give it 8 out of 10 - particularly if you can catch in HD with surround-sound.

The script could have been a bit more campy.

For example, when the old, fat, skeptical cop (Don S. Davis) asks, "That thing's only a month old?" after they bag their first li'l Nessie, it would have been fun to hear the crypto zoologist (Brian Krause) say, "They grow fast... if they get enough to eat." rather than just, "They grow fast." - 'cus you just know that the old cop is gonna get nibbled on before this thing is through!

Spike Vicious said...

I was going by the synopsis, with regards to the film apparently being set in Lake Superior however a quick search on imdb tells me that it was FILMED in British Columbia so basically I only had the movie plot to go by.

I understand entirely that as far as TV movies go it's not too bad but that's why it got 2 out of 5 meaning "watchable" or "Better than I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here" (At least I hope it was better)!

Incidentally (Not intended as a reference to The Incident At Loch Ness, a far superior film!) it seems from my search of IMDb that the film also goes by "Beyond Loch Ness" and I'm sure it didn't have that alternative title when I wrote my review so I'm pretty much guessing that they changed the name because of my review!!!