Thursday, August 14, 2008

Tropic Thunder

Apparently there are these things called "cinemas" in which people go to see movies on a big screen along with a bunch of people they don't know. I normally review movies that appear on a much smaller screen on th television in my home but I'm pretty sure the premise is pretty much the same... here's hoping. If this review doesn't make any sense then you probably have to project the entire thing onto a 30 feet wide screen and charge people $10 to see it for it to become clear what's going on.

Anyhoo, on with the show review.

Tropic Thunder is a movie in which a group of actors making a film about the Vietnamese war end up fighting there own little Vietnamese war for real! It's a bit like The Three Amigos only with a lot more swearing, blood, explosions, gun fire and actual comedy which makes people laugh. (Or should I say it was about a bunch of dudes, playing dudes who were pretending to be dudes, playing dudes disguised as other dudes?... no, I shouldn't... ok)
It was written, directed, mixed, produced, starred and was filmed by Ben Stiller. Yes the Ben Stiller who was coincidentally the Producer of one of the last films I reviewed (The Ruins) but have no fear, this isn't becoming a Ben Stiller themed review blog.
That would be interesting but incredibly pointless and creepy.

The trailers for this film show you clearly and accurately how humorous the film is.
They also tell you how gun-totingly awesome the action scenes might be.
They also ruin one of the funniest jokes in the film.
What the trailers do not prepare you for is the Tom Cruise.

If like me you had no idea that Tom Cruise was in this film then you can send me a nice blank check in thanks for my kind warning.

I was not so lucky.

No, instead I see a rather dazzling performance which blew me away by one of the few people in the film that I didn't at least recognize from somewhere. I spend the whole movie thinking "This guy is fucking hilarious! Why can't I picture what movie he's been in... he has to have been in something?" and giving him random standing ovations because of his comical timing with words such as "cunt", "fuck" and "cocksucker". Once you've spent the whole movie wishing some sort of comedy Oscar to this vast unknown balding fellow, applauding his every dance step and twirl and cheering at every moment he's on screen... at the very moment when you have decided to relinquish all your worldly possessions to this strangely amusing stranger... right then he'll take off his glasses and you'll see those eyebrows.

It may, as it did me, take you until the actual credits for you to really be sure it was him, but believe me... it was...

You'll then realize that his whole plan was, in fact, for you to relinquish all your worldly possessions to him and join his deranged little cult.
Alas, it will be too late and upon viewing the film you'll realize that you've actually signed your life away to Fictionology and are forever doomed... all because you forgot Tom Cruise can actually, on rare occasions (at least twice) actually act well in a role you wouldn't expect and blow you away...

Curse you Tom Cruise. You've won this round, but I'll get you yet...

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go take a scouring pad to my eyeballs to try and unsee what has been seen.

UPDATE: (08 - 19 - 08) By the way, all the people protesting this movie because of the use of certain words they say are "demeaning" are retards.

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