Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Grindhouse - Planet Terror and Some Film By Quentin Tanartino

I would like, if I may to rip off Becky's idea of having movie review on this here journal thing.


This, for those of you who are unaware, is a double feature movie. The first half, Planet Terror, directed and written by Robert Rodriguez and the second half, Death Proof, by Quentin Tarantino.

The film opens with a fake trailer for a film called Machete which kicks your ass! It stars Danny Trejo as a bad-ass Mexican immigrant who's all about killing many people with kick-ass weapons with a kick-ass bike and stuff...It's an obvious parody of Rodriguez's films and is done hilariously! You could maybe search for it online and maybe watch it. This one is hilarious from start to finish in my opinion and seems like it'd make an awesome Rodriguez film. Luckily for us, he's making it into one! Huzzah!

Moving on...

I think that was followed by the first feature: Planet Terror!
This film was shot in a way that made it seem like a B-movie in every way except the effects are realistic, which gives it an odd new-old B-movie modernised feel.
It's hilarious in how it pokes fun at itself and the whole genre all at the same time as being an awesome zombie-esque film. There's more guns and shooting and explosions than you can shake a stick at, and even the most ridiculous of events is met with such seriousness that the whole audience can't help but piss their panties from giggling so hard. So let's see. there's explsoions... there's guns... there's blood... there's zombie-esqueness... there's car crashes... there's boobies... what could be missing?!
Bruce Willis, that's what!
And he's right there and he's awesome and this whole movie kicks everyone's ass in a way I thought nothing ever could.

From there, I believe we go to more fake trailers?
I think next was something about werewolves and nazi ss troops and stuff. It was fairly random but just fell short of being hilarious (despite the part at the end of the trailer that I laughed harder than I've laughed at anything in my life about because I'm awesome). It was directed by Rob Zombie, and uhh... there isn't much to say about it without giving away the hilarious 'twist'! So I won't...

Then there was the gripping thriller "Don't" which treaded on the fine line between making you want to tear the arms off your cinema seats from frustration and absolute hilarity. It starts off by being overly 'gripping' and tense and ends being loud and obnoxious. I spotted the guy from League Of Gentlemen in it too. It was pretty damn funny but compared to the other blood-and-guts themed trailers and movie before it, it stood out as being a little odd. It was directed by Edgar Wright though, what daya think about that motherfucker!?

To conclude the fake trailer section we had a rather amusing spoof of the slasher genre by Eli Roth (Who, by the way, I think is a total asslicker) called Thanksgiving, a play on how many horror films take their names from holidays though I think it was hard for that fact to be conveyed in the trailer. This one is possibly the best trailer from the set, though 'Machete' either beats it or is a close second. It mocks a genre which is, I think, far better and easier to mock than the other trailers did (I dunno what Werewolf Nazi Bastard Zombie Fest SS whatever was spooofing though...)and I think that plays to it's advantage. Eli Roth managed to get a tally on my good side! As a writer I think Eli Roth stands out as being relatively awesome but as a director and a person I pretty much think he sucks ass... but I think he's still on the positive side of my rating bar after 'Thanksgiving' (And will probably remain there until I throw up watching Hostel: part II, and I won't be throwing up in disgust at the gore, it'll be because because it'll suck).

In conclusion, I give Grindhouse 5/5

Oh, I forgot
After Thanksgiving, Quentin Tarantino concluded this 3 hour blood, guts, guns n' explosions fest with an hour and a half of people sitting round talking.

In conclusion, The end!


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